Singleness Is Not the Problem: Putting Off the Old Self and Putting On the New

As a single adult, it's easy to fall into the trap of believing that life will truly begin once you meet the right person.

Maybe you've caught yourself saying:

“Once I get married, I'll finally be happy.”

“If God would just bring my person, everything would fall into place.”

“I'm tired of waiting.”

While those feelings are understandable, Scripture challenges us to view singleness through a different lens. The issue is not our relationship status. Often, the deeper issue is the old version of ourselves that God wants to transform.

This is where Romans 6:6 and Ephesians 4:22-24 offer life-changing truth.

The Real Battle Isn't Singleness

Romans 6:6 says:

"For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin."

Paul reminds believers that when we came to Christ, something significant happened: our old self was crucified with Him.

The old self represents the person we were apart from Christ. It includes our sinful desires, unhealthy patterns, distorted thinking, and misplaced identities.

For singles, the old self may look like:

• Looking to a future spouse for validation

• Believing marriage will complete us

• Comparing our journey to everyone else's

• Settling for less than God's best because we're afraid of being alone

• Finding our worth in whether someone chooses us

The truth is that Jesus didn't die merely to improve the old version of you. He died so that version could be put to death entirely.

Many of us are asking God to change our circumstances while He is focused on changing us.

Stop Resurrecting What God Has Buried

One of the challenges of the Christian life is that we often revisit identities Christ has already freed us from.

We return to old insecurities.

Old fears.

Old habits.

Old lies.

We allow them to shape how we see ourselves and our future.

Yet Romans 6:6 reminds us that the old self has already been crucified with Christ.

The insecure version of you that believes you are not enough without a relationship does not get the final word.

The fearful version of you that thinks you've missed your opportunity does not get the final word.

The desperate version of you that wants to force God's timing does not get the final word.

Christ does.

Put Off the Old Self

Paul expands this thought in Ephesians 4:22-24:

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:22-24, NIV)